Time to write
I’m waiting for Aaron to call me and let me know that he’s ready to be picked up at work. We both have really shitty jobs. The food business is not one that we intend on staying in for much longer. I’m always amazed at the lengths restaurants go to to keep their customers happy, that simultaneously fuck over their employees. Oh well. Money controls most.
I ran into Jonny at the ol’ HEB last night, and though it was unexpected, it was a nice visit. I have finally stopped listening to what everyone else has had to say about our break up and him. Forgiveness, at least in this situation, has proven key in helping us maintain a friendship. He will always remain a great friend of mine. That’s how it was always supposed to be. I’m so relieved that we have achieved that. I know he’s struggling with many inner demons right now, and I sincerely wish him a speedy and thorough recovery. There’s nothing worse than being your own worst enemy. I’ve spent too many years filled with anger and self-loathing, constantly berating myself over my appearance, my personality flaws. It’s a miserable existence that nobody deserves. Well, maybe a few people do. But life is meant to be filled with love and joy which must first flourish internally. Once that happens, everything else will fall into place. I’ve experienced it and nothing can change my mind.
I’m going to be a mom in about 8 months. It all still seems like a joke. But it’s not. There’s a tiny blueberry sized baby growing larger inside of me every day. This little one is starting to develop arms and legs, even eyelids. It’s baffling to try and imagine the formation of this baby. I can’t wait to see what he/she is going to look like, and what the gender is.